Façade and Substance

ID or Not ID

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN if you refused to show ID at the airport? Like author Jim Harper, you might get through security a little faster.

Odd Press Release

THIS CAME VIA email yesterday. I haven't seen anything else about it, but it seems significant if this organization is defecting from this fast-food giant. As soon as Blogger's image posting is working again I'll add an image from this related PowerPoint presentation. For your perusal:

June 5, 2006
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: mailto:info@mcdonaldsinteractive.com
Photos and downloads: http://www.mcdonaldsinteractive.com/
International Serious Games Event: http://www.seriousgames.org.uk/

MCDONALD'S GAMES DIVISION
TO LEAVE PARENT COMPANY
Company policies "lead planet to ruin";
division seeks mass mobilization

McDonald's Interactive announced today that it is striking out on its own from parent company McDonald's. The announcement was made at the International Serious Games Event in Birmingham, England. "We can no longer stand by while McDonald's corporate policies help lead the planet to ruin," said Andrew Shimery-Wolf, co-director of the former Interactive Division. McDonald's Interactive was formed four years ago to help the company adapt to new market conditions.

"We began developing a simulation of the fast-food industry, for use by managers in developing market strategies." said Division CTO Sam Grossman. "When we added a climate simulation module, it showed those strategies helping lead to global calamity."

"Management doesn't seem to care, and we can't sit back and fiddle while Rome burns, so our team has decided to break away from McDonald's and do something about it," said Grossman.

The new organization's charter will be to help stimulate mass mobilization for policy change. "Mass mobilization has had some huge effects," said Dan Licari, the organizer of the International Serious Games Event. "No matter what the government thinks they want to do, they have to act, they're pressed into action."

"Scientists believe that to avoid ever-more-likely calamity, we must reduce our emissions by 70% very quickly," said Shimery-Wolf. "Since governments won't do that without popular pressure, helping to generate revolt is the only responsible choice, the only true CSR."

He characterized ordinary CSR efforts as "trivial improvements to a sinking ship, serving only to reassure passengers" and singled out British Petroleum's CSR campaign in particular as just a "slightly more polite form of world annihilation."

Please visit http://www.mcdonaldsinteractive.com/ for the full text of today's announcement, as well as photographs and downloads.

# 30 #

So many questions: How long have they been working on this? How would they get away with it? Would McDonald's let them keep the name? How much do they pay their lawyers?

Lawyers In Your PR Department

Fling lawsuits over a consumer fave is one certain way to build a clip book:

Creative sues over iPod interface - Claims that Apple infringes; demands halt to iPod sales
Firm sues dismissed worker - Allegations he spent his time at work listening to his iPod
Burst.com sues Apple - Lawsuit over technology within iPod
Beatles lose lawsuit - Claims iPod broke 1991 agreement

Film Imitates TV

From Gabe's Declaration of Principles:

"If one of the most anticipated tent pole action pictures of the summer pales next to the rich escapist complexity of a program like Alias, how do the studios expect to rebound?"

Key-scene-by-scene comparison here.

And Some of Them Should Be Fired

From recently un-sued blogger Lance Dutson via Aaron Wall quoting Seth Godin:

"...

All your

lawyers

are in your

marketing

department

..."

A Healthy Debunking

Health News Review is "an attempt to help improve the accuracy, balance and completeness of news stories that make claims about new ideas in health care." See healthnewsreview.org for mass-media health reports rated 1 to 5 based on ten criteria. Some of the lowest rated:

(0/5 stars) Scientists reverse diabetes in monkeys - "Makes a huge leap from a finding in 12 monkeys to 'hope for millions of people with diabetes'" (KARE-TV Minneapolis)

(1/5) Matt Lauer's heart scan - "An example of disease-mongering" (NBC Today Show)

(1/5) Minding the Snore - "No quantitative evidence that the Pillar Procedure is more or less effective than other surgeries for snoring" (New York Post)

Some of the highest:

(5/5 stars) Doubt Cited on Aspirin-Blood Thinner Combo - "Good overview of the results of a trial" (Associated Press)

(5/5) 'Closed-heart' a less-invasive alternative - "Balanced and complete" (Associated Press)

(4/5) Mending broken sleep - "Engaging article that may help raise awareness" (Philadelphia Inquirer)

[Thanks to On the Media for the original story.]

One Mile Low

FAR BE IT FROM ME to assume to know someone's job description, but wouldn't a spokesperson for a visitors bureau want to go out of his way to say something nice about his own city? From Westword:

Rich Grant, director of communications for the Denver Metro Convention & Visitors Bureau: "You're talking about a city that was named after the territorial governor, who'd already resigned ... a city whose main claim to fame is three markers on the Capitol steps, each claiming to be a mile high."

Hear that? It's the sound of a thousand conventions not talking about how they'll book Denver this year. Or is it the sound of someone working for the same organization a couple of decades too long?

A few more of Rich Grant's Reasons Why Not:

On people becoming meeting planners (a.k.a. convention-site choosers): "You have to be nuts ... It's high stress with thousands of details." [Post-News Jobs]
On attracting east-coasters: "The first maps done in 1820 say Denver is 'the great American desert' ... That perception's still accurate in New York." [DBJ]
On air quality: "The day the fires started (Sunday) was also the start of the J.D. Edwards Users Group meeting with 7,000 people in Denver. There was the smell of a campfire in the air." [MeetingsNet]

Am I Honest or Not?

I AM MSNBC.

Am I using a pedophile-friendly bait-and-switch ad banner to trick people into reading my coverage about pedophiles?

Click YES or YES.

Urban Legend in the Making

DOES BLOGGER.COM WANT to kill and eat children?

That's what major media outlets, from CourtTV to The Sun, might have you believe. And it's what might go down in history.

In stories about Kevin Underwood, the alleged killer of a 10-year-old girl near Oklahoma City, reporters consistently cite this section of Kevin's Blogger profile:

Many reports claim the cannibal reference belongs to Kevin. They say he wrote it. They even leave out his answer, suggesting that the mere act of posting the question indicates a desire to kill and eat children.

"Underwood once mused on the Internet about what a cannibal might wear to dinner"
"Neighbor Accused in Oklahoma Girl's Killing Blogged About Cannibalism in His Online Diary"
"He mentions cannibalism asking 'If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?'"

But these reports omit something. Kevin's not the only one talking up cannibalism. At least three other easy-to-find blogger.com users (here, here and here) have the same Q&A on their profiles.

Did all three come up with exactly the same question? Are they as likely to target and prey upon an innocent girl? Should police from the Department of Pre-Crime immediately race to their homes?

Or is this a randomly-generated Blogger.com user profile question, like the ones I found in this list:

Why do you think honeydew is the money melon?
You've successfully slain the dragon! How will you toast your marshmallows?
When you spilled the milk, did it look like the moon?

And of course this one, which I generated after just a few reloads on my own blogger.com profile page:

If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?

Tale of Two Things

BY SETH GODIN, the guy giving this speech and running this blog.

Two things marketers do:

1. Do the work necessary to be sure that your perception of the world is similar to the world as it is.

2. Create the stories (and the experiences to back them up) that change the world as it is.

If It Happens In The Hills

IT MUST BE SCARY.

Double Deutsch Bust

I'M SURE SOME of the clients on the above list from Deutsch advertising agency (click on image) are wondering who this Deutsch job posting refers to:

"Should understand production, billing and difficult clients."

The posting also asks for "fashion background." Like some of their smaller shoppers, could there be some cranky adversiting people over at Babies R Us?

Façade and Substance Indeed

HERE'S THE COVER of the April 2005 Star Magazine. Photographic proof of the union of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Or, as the disclaimer on page 8 notes, a "composite of two photographs." (From Digital Tampering in the Media, Politics and Law)

Write Your Own 'Priceless' Ad

MASTERCARD WANTS US to fill in the blanks, and they'll air the best one. A quarter million dollars in personal debt says they won't air this one:

Wedding for the woman of your dreams: $10,000

Trying to fix up your first home together: $6,000

Losing a lawsuit to the contractor you hired to do the work: $50,000

Discharging all your personal debt - including MasterCard charges - by filing chapter 7 bankruptcy: Priceless

Gayest Movie Marquee Ever

FROM FLORIDA: Sunrise Gateway Cinema, Ft. Lauderdale. Photo taken Feb. 6, 2006, by Lee Posner.

Someone Hates That Clown!

New Health Plan for Seniors

PULL! (By the way, would the inclusion of accidentally in these stories constitute non-trial by media? Reminder to next person who attempts murder: Wait day, get press release to AP.)

It's Still the Medium

NOT THE MESSAGE. We expect more from our ~~Super Bowl ads~~ Big Game ads (sorry, NFL attorneys). If you're crazy enough to blow an above-average annual salary for every second of airtime, you ought to do something with it. Otherwise, disappointment. From OTX:

When a group believed ads were going to be aired in the 2006 ~~Super Bowl~~ Big Game, the ads scored lower:
Emotional response dropped 11%
Informational value dropped 22%
A soft drink ad lost 87% of its informational value when it was believed to be a Super Bowl ad
The same soft drink ad's emotional score was cut by about a quarter when viewers were told it was a Super Bowl ad

The Annoying Six Flags Dude Is...

ACTUALLY A DUDE:

I wouldn't have been surprised if the true identity of the bouncing theme-park senior citizen were feminine, though. Well, more feminine than Danny Teeson from Queer Eye for the Straight Girl, anyway. Thanks to Paul Davidson for finally figuring it out. I can't TiVo through those commercials fast enough.

Fancy Publishing Talk

WHAT'S EVERYONE so worried about? It looks like there was only one reader anyway. James Frey admits to his "reader" about a million little embellishments on Random House's web site today. Three-page PDF here.

Due (Mostly) To The Tragic Events ...

ACCORDING TO IMDB.com, these are the 14 film & TV notables who died on Sept. 11, 2001. (Not all of them how you might think.)

Berry Berenson - Wife of late PSYCHO star Anthony Perkins; mother of indie rocker Elvis Perkins - Listed on flight manifest as Berinthia Perkins, killed on hijacked American Airlines flight 11
Barbara Olson - Author, panelist on Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect - Killed on hijacked American Airlines flight 77
Janine M. Clark - Film production manager - Killed in an automobile accident in Sofia, Bulgaria
Rick Rescorla - Head of security for Morgan Stanley Dean Witter; subject of short documentary, VOICE OF THE PROPHET - Killed in collapse of World Trade Center
Kevin Marlo - completed an episode of elimiDATE (never aired); worked for investment bank Sandler O'Neil on 103rd floor - Killed in collapse of World Trade Center
Keith A. Glascoe - Played a hostage on TV series 100 Centre Street - Killed in World Trade Center collapse
Hjørdis Bjarke - Norwegian film actress in 1930s - Died at age 92 in Bergen, Norway
Angel Juarbe Jr. - New York City firefighter; appeared on (and won) Fox's reality contest-show Murder in Small Town X - Died in the collapse of World Trade Center a week after his final episode was broadcast
Chuck Margiotta - New York City firefighter; stuntman & actor - Killed in World Trade Center collapse
David Angell - Emmy-winning creator of Frasier - Killed on hijacked American Airlines flight 11
François Lavigne - French TV actor in 1950s and 60s - No cause of death listed
Mychal Judge - Chaplain of New York Fire Department; appeared as himself in archive footage in TV coverage about 9/11 - Died in World Trade Center collapse
Charles McCrann - Writer, director and star 1980's BLOODEATERS; senior VP at Marsh & McLennan's World Trade Center offices - Died in World Trade Center collapse
T.J. Hargrave - TV actor in 1970s; VP for financial firm Cantor-Fitzgerald - Died in World Trade Center collapse

Puritans in Our Midst

QUICK - SEE IF you can tell which poster was used in the original campaign for the new film BATTLE IN HEAVEN (BATTALA EN EL CIELO) and which was used in the American campaign.

Scariest Email Disclaimer Ever

FROM THE TOP of an email newsletter sent by Pete Bialick, President, GASP of Colorado.

Huge Is In the Ear of the Customer

SO WHAT WOULD be considered "huge?" And who decides? I wonder how Sprint would like a customer saying to them, "No REALLY LATE payments. Promise."

For 24 Geeks: Jacktracker

If Gene Shalit Were Relevant...

... He'd get his reviews aired when the movies are released - not the week after

... He'd get a post-1978 hairstyle - trademarks be damned

... He'd get Terrence Mallick's THE NEW WORLD

Short Shameless Comparison

THE WHITE STRIPES' "My Doorbell" is "Hollaback Girl" for indie kids.

Ray Nagin Doesn't Care About White People

"This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be. .... This city will be chocolate at the end of the day." (Reuters)

Short Shameless Challenge

TO ALL THE MP3 blogs out there: See if you can go one day without comparing a new musical act to: 1) Joy Division, or 2) The Arcade Fire, or 3) Belle & Sebastian.

Ready, go.

Typer's Block

NO MATTER HOW many times I type them, these two words I always get wrong the first time:

~~ration~~ ratio
~~gardender~~ gardener

See?

Life in Minor Keys

IN THE YEAR when I graduate from age 35, it's good to know that 36 is:

The Aristotelian "prime of life" - "neither too rash nor too timid; neither too skeptical nor overtrusting; neither too generous nor too stingy"

The atomic number of krypton

From "supplication" to "loss of loved ones," the number of dramatic situations

Out of 88, the number of black keys on piano

The number of a Mozart symphony written in C major, a key which involves no black piano keys

Joseph's age when Jesus was born

The smallest number with 9 divisors: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 9, 12, 18 and 36

Waist size (in inches) when a woman's risk of diabetes & heart disease dramatically increases

How many ways the US is losing the war on terror

How many years ABC had Monday Night Football

The retirement age of Jim Kelly, Joe Theismann and Joe DiMaggio

The number of ways to change 50 cents with dimes, nickels and pennies

In craps, the number of ways a pair of 6-sided die can land

Age when Marilyn Monroe, Doc Holliday and General George Custer died

From "act in the open" to "retreat," the number of Chinese militaristic strategies

Inches in a yard

How many righteous people must exist for the world not to come to an end

A good year to REBOOT

You Are What You Eat

AND APPARENTLY the people at Google have been eating Dots:

How Much to Shame Them Into Fact-Checking?

NEWS IS NOT ONE of the things that gets better with age. The Rocky Mountain News ran this blurb in a recent "other business" column. Italics mine - to highlight the irony.

Dec. 22, 2005, Rocky Mountain News: 1,000 yuan ($120): The amount Moon God Drinking Products Co., a skin care company in China, has offered for every typographical or literary error found in a day's editions of four Chinese publications in an attempt to embarrass journalists into better writing. Hao Mingjian, who came up with the idea for the bounty, said that "China's press has lost its polish in the past decade or two," which "reflects a chaotic cultural environment and shows people lack a sense of responsibility." (Source: Reuters)

Now, compare and contrast to this item from This Is True:

July 9, 1995, This Is True: Moon God Drinking Products Co., a skin care company in China, has offered a bounty of 1,000 yuan (US$120) for every typographical or literary error found in a day's editions of four Chinese publications in an attempt to embarrass journalists into better writing. Hao Mingjian, who came up with the idea for the bounty, said that "China's press has lost its polish in the past decade or two," which "reflects a chaotic cultural environment and shows people lack a sense of responsibility." (Reuters)

It turns out, says Regret the Error, the 10-year-old tidbit re-appeared in a Dec. 5, 2005, list of the last decade's best "strange-but-true" items from This Is True, a weekly email newsletter. Both This Is True and old-news paper Rocky Mountain News are based in Colorado. Anyone embarrassed now?

New Rules: 2006

Don't do business with companies that can afford to name stadiums/bowl games/planets after themselves; they clearly make too much money off their customers

Movies are getting better; it's the theaters that are getting worse

Party food, unless you charge a cover, is free to guests; it's impossible to steal it

Give the Rolling Stones a break

It's OK to take musical recommendations from bloggers who work at Dairy Queen

Remember: all movies are about redemption

Hey US & UK, can we just agree on third-person plural and move on? It's either "the group is" or "the group are." I can't keep bouncing to and fro. (Psst, UK. How about we go with "is.")

Reboot!

Façade and Substance

09 June 2006

ID or Not ID

06 June 2006

Odd Press Release

16 May 2006

Lawyers In Your PR Department

10 May 2006

Film Imitates TV

08 May 2006

And Some of Them Should Be Fired

07 May 2006

A Healthy Debunking

02 May 2006

One Mile Low

24 April 2006

Am I Honest or Not?

18 April 2006

Urban Legend in the Making

14 April 2006

Tale of Two Things

04 April 2006

If It Happens In The Hills

Double Deutsch Bust

29 March 2006

Façade and Substance Indeed

14 March 2006

Write Your Own 'Priceless' Ad

16 February 2006

Gayest Movie Marquee Ever

14 February 2006

Someone Hates That Clown!

12 February 2006

New Health Plan for Seniors

04 February 2006

It's Still the Medium

02 February 2006

The Annoying Six Flags Dude Is...

01 February 2006

Fancy Publishing Talk

28 January 2006

Due (Mostly) To The Tragic Events ...

26 January 2006

Puritans in Our Midst

25 January 2006

Scariest Email Disclaimer Ever

Huge Is In the Ear of the Customer

23 January 2006

For 24 Geeks: Jacktracker

If Gene Shalit Were Relevant...

20 January 2006

Short Shameless Comparison

18 January 2006

Ray Nagin Doesn't Care About White People

16 January 2006

Short Shameless Challenge

09 January 2006

Typer's Block

08 January 2006

Life in Minor Keys

04 January 2006

You Are What You Eat

How Much to Shame Them Into Fact-Checking?

02 January 2006

New Rules: 2006

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